Cold Hands

*laughs*

got this from aisyah

1. He walks fast
What it means: He’s got sense of purpose, is confident and an adventurous type who’s willing to experiment with new positions.

2. He bites his nails
What it means: This stress-releasing habit is actually a good sign as it equates to passion and sexual intensity.

3. He has curvy handwriting
According to handwriting specialists, people who write ‘y’, ‘g’, or ‘q’ with curvy/loopy tails have lots of imaginations and high libido levels.

4. He loves routine
What it means: Routine lovers are robotic and predictable in bed! You’ll be able to tell his every move before he even makes it.

5. He gesticulates a lot
What it means:If he talks with his hands using big, sweeping, dramatic moves, it means he’s creative and imaginative -even in bedroom!

6. He’s got long, large & limber thumbs
What it means: Try pulling his thumb away form his palm to measure his sex flex; if you can hardly pull his thumb away from his palm, then expect a rigid and conservative lover. If it flexes further -he’s adventurous. Also, a large or long and heavy thumb translate to high sexual energy.

You and Me

dangit, this is TOO sweet i had to post it awwwwwww.

TRJA’s Face Down

Wicked cover! Loved it, this guy also covered moffatts’ misery wahaha sedap!!

KFC dinner!

Thanks to my favourite friend, Mintos Nawawi!!! for the deliciiiouusssss bucket of KFC!!!!

gosh, i spent the wholeeeeeeeeee day sleeeeeeeeeeping *sorrie hun ehehee* and bangun2 je, ade kfc depan mate.. wow, if that’s not heaven, what is?!!!

in the midst of me melantaking, my mom called and tanye bile nak balik, and like always i had to tell herr nanti nanti, keje tak siap lagi!

argh! takpe, a lil bit more. hope to have a short holiday lepas ni. langkawi ke.

*blankface*

orrrrrrrr get myself a black acoustic guitar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*grins!*

dang, sedap gile KFC rase nak melantak lagi now. but no no no, lets wait till siang plis zomg.

anyhoo, nak buat ape malam esok eh? jom lepak BB jom!!!! boleh joget2 ngn endon n banglaz i like joget2 wakakaka..

Nightly Nightly

She couldn’t stop tossing around. Her eyes just won’t shut. Her mind just won’t sleep. She slipped her hand under her pillow and took a crumpled note.

I just want you close, where you can stay forever

She let out a sigh and slipped it back under her pillow.

No one, no one can get in the way of what I feel for you

Just yesterday and every other night, laughters, whispers and conversations were shared on the same bed. Tonight, the silence was unbearable.

“Don’t make me promise anything to you anymore… I’m bad at keeping them” They both broke into a fit of laughter

“Well, absence makes the heart go fonder-”

Quickly, before she could finish “Ah yes, and distance.. no wait, sleeping keeps us closer and closer?”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Meanie!”

He laughed.

A quick glance at the time. 1.40am.

Another 2 minutes passed by.

Her mind was about to drift when her phone beeped.

1.43am, and the message reads

“Are you still awake?”

Unwell

Now I’m feeling unwell…

after I’ve seen how beautiful… mesmerizing…

Hmm, I’ll have it one day…

I know..

I will kan?

Yeah I will.. one day, one day, I will hold it close to my heart..

I will clasp it in my hand and never let it go..

I want it, I want it, I want it.. so so so so so bad

I can’t wait to have it..

Gosh! How does it feel to have everything you NEEDED and WANTED and YEARNED FOR to make a perfect blending of……….

Tell me how does it feel?

I want it…..

Please let me have it?

Will you remember me?

I wrote this when I was 15. It is inspired by this song. I just felt like sharing it

A post-xmas related post for y’all

***

“Bobby! Look at this!”

He turned around. “Holy Macs! Not another one!”

“It’s unavoidable”

“Eeccch.. how much is that?”

“Uh………”

“Uh?”

“$20″

“20 dollars???” He howled.

He nodded.

“If mommy finds out, she’s going to chop your head off”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, Bobby”

“If she isn’t going to, I’m willing too”

“THAT’S NOT NICE EITHER!”

“So what is nice? Spending your money on stupid magic cards?”

“That’s a very lame thing to say, Bobby”

“It is not lame, Georgie”

“Yes it is, Bobby”

“No, it’s not, Georgie”

“YES IT IS!”

“NO IT IS NOT!”

“You’re lame, Bobby”

“You are too, Georgie”

“That’s a very immature thing to say, Bobby”

“You are being immature too, Georgie”

“I am 9 years old, Bobby”

“Well, so what, I am 16 years old, Georgie”

“So that’s why I’m saying you’re being immature, Bobby”

“SHUT UP DAMMIT!”

George laughed.

“MWAAHAHAHAHAH BWAHAHAHAH”

“Shut up”

“That’s a very lame – ”

“Stop it” Bob interrupted feeling very annoyed. He took a deep breath and drew it out with a deep sigh. He glared at George deeply in the eyes.

“Now listen George, you must stop buying magic cards, it’s a waste of money and you already have more than 4 sets, and all of them cost $80. Do you know how much things we can buy with $80?”

“Ya, like what. Pimples?” George giggled.

Bob ran his fingers on his face. “Do not, and I mean do not talk about pimples” He warned.

“Why not, Bobby?”

“Because it’s a bad thing to say, BAD i mean BAD”

“No it’s not. If it’s bad, why is it all over your face. Are you bad? and i mean BAD?”

“Shut up”

“God created mouth not to shut it”

“Ha ha”

“That wasn’t supposed to be funny. It was supposed to be” Bob raised his hand “OKAY OKAY! I’ll stop buying the cards”

“That’s what you promised me 2 hours ago”

“It was unavoidable. It’s like pimples’ obsession to your face”

Bob shot a glare at his brother.

“Mommy worked hard for the money we have. Just don’t waste them, okay?” Bob said, softly.

George lowered his head.

“I’m sorry”

“You should be”

“That’s not fair” He raised his eyes.

“It is”

“No. It’s not. You got to buy everything you wanna buy”

“Yeah like what?”

“You bought a lot of Oxy”

“You better stop it or I’ll kick your ass off to China” (author’s note: my original quote. lol.)

“Where is China?”

“North Pole”

“Liar”

“I’m not. Notice that Santa Claus wear red and white?”

“So?”

“Go figure”

“Can I go out and play?”

“The cards?”

“Yes, Bobby”

“I’ll play with you?” Bob put his arms around his brother.

“No, Bobby. It’s bad, and i mean BAD” George repeated.

Bob rolled his eyes.

“Are you scared?”

“Of what?”

“Of losing”

“Eech Bob. You’re so so lame”

“I’m lame but you’re the lamest”

“There isn’t such a word”

“Of course there is”

“Shut up”

George giggled.

“You know where I got the money from?” George said as he spread the cards on the table. Bob sat across him.

“Stole it I suppose”

“Yeah. From your piggy-bank”

Bob reached out his hand. George pushed them away.

“I lied, asswipe”

“So where did you get them?”

“I got $100 from Aunt Matilda last week”

“On Christmas?”

“Yeah”

“How come I didn’t get any money, only two frigging socks?”

“Because, you’re not mature enough for money”

“Hush it, Georgie or I will really chop your head off”

George chuckled.

“Daddy didn’t come back” Bob noticed the sudden change of George’s voice.

Bob nodded.

“He’s a liar, Bobby”

Bob hated to admit it, and he also hated to deny it.

“Don’t say that. He’s still our daddy”

“If he is still our daddy, how come he didn’t come back on Christmas? He never calls, he never writes, he never drop by at school and pick me up or take me out, or buy me toys”

“Yeah”

“I want a new daddy”

Bob remained silent.

“I want a new daddy, Bob”

“Huh?”

“A NEW DADDY, DAMMIT!”

“Who?”

“Uncle Fred. He’s a nice man. Mom and him are getting along well”

God, for an eight year old, he speaks like a 20 years old.

“Fred? EEcch.. his armpit stinks”

George laughed.

“Only his right armpit! His left one always smells good”

“I wonder why”

Both of them broke into laughters after laughters.

“I don’t want him to be our new daddy”

“Why, Bobby?”

“Well, I still want daddy to be our daddy”

“Why, Bobby? I don’t understand”

“Because he still loves us”

“How do you know?”

“I just know”

“Then why did he left”

Bob lowered his head and fiddled with his cards.

“Well” He started.

Should I? Must I? He’s old enough to know, right.

“It’s hard to explain”

“I’m 8 years old, Bobby”

“George. Daddy didn’t leave us”

“What?” He frowned.

“He didn’t actually leave us. He left, but he’ll always remember us, and we will always remember him. And he will always be our father”

“What the hell are you saying Bobby?”

“Told you so”

“Just be straight forward Bobby” George shuffled the remaining cards and put them on the table. He then took the top card from the deck and put it face down the table. He selected a few cards from his hands and put them beside the face-down card on the table.

Bob looked at all his cards and selected two of them with a red dragon and white snake and put them on the other side of the face-down card.

“He left us” He said. “Because of cancer” He muttered.

“Who the hell is Cancer?”

“Eech.. it’s a disease”

“Huh?”

“God, Georgie. He died, okay. He died”

George stopped playing and stared at Bob.

Bob stared back at him.

“Why didn’t mommy tell me? Why did mommy tell me daddy was just going away for a while? Why Bobby? After all these years I believed that story. After all these years that was what I believed, Bobby. For 8 years, Bobby”

He’s damn smart for an eight year old.

“Things aren’t supposed to be just the way we want them to be, George. Sometimes, in life, we have to lie, we have to tell a different story from the reality. You were too young to know the truth. You wouldn’t understand, and even if you did, it’ll be a problem for you. It’s hard for mommy, and also hard for me, Georgie”

“Okay” He muttered. Fresh shiny water ran down on his cheek.

Bob stood and sat next to Georgie. He drew Georgie close to him and let him weep.

***

“ROBERT!”

“YEAH!” Bob yelled from his room

“COME DOWN!”

***

“Yeah, mom?”

“Sit”

Bob sat infront of his mom. His mother was a fine woman. With the exception of her big eyes, she could still be as beautiful as before. Before, daddy left. Mom has gone into a complete messy life after daddy left.

“What did u tell George?”

“The truth”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t see him hurt anymore, mommy”

“He’s not old enough to know”

“It’s better to know now than later. It’ll be much more hurting, mom”

She let out a sigh.

“He wants you to marry Uncle Fred”

She snickered.

Bob smiled.

“How come you never tell him the truth about Fred?”

“He wouldn’t believe it”

“Yeah. It’s too complicated”

She smiled.

“Frederick reminds me so much of your dad. He got the smile, look, face”

“The laugh” Bob added and they both laughed.

“Sometimes, when I think of daddy, I feel unwanted”

“Unwanted?”

“Yeah. Daddy never seem to care a lot for me. He cares a lot for Georgie”

She smiled.

“Do you remember when you’re 10. You broke the house window daddy just fixed”

Bob nodded, remembering how daddy had scolded him.

“I told you so many times, DO NOT play the ball in the house! How many times have I told you Robert? How many times?”

Bob ran his hand on his waist, he could still feel the pain.

“Do you know why he hit you?”

“Because I wasn’t obeying him”

She smiled.

“He was glad that you got the message right away. He’s always thought of you as the matured, and the responsible one”

“I guess”

She smiled again.

“Do you wanna go to sleep now?”

“Huh?”

“It’s been a long time since I sing you to bed”

Bob snickered.

“Mom, I am 16″

“So? I’d be glad to be the first mother who sing her 16 year old son to bed”

“Very impressive”

She smiled again and got up, pulling her son up.

***

“What song are you going to sing to me mom?” Bob asked as his mom tucked him in the bed.

“Your favourite song”

“The one dad wrote?”

She nodded. Bob smiled.

She pulled his covers up and began singing.

I will remember you
Will you remember me
Dont let yer life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times we had
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly first I saw u smiling in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

Bob listened to every word his mother was singing. Tears began filling her eyes.

“Mommy?” He asked.

“Yes dear?”

“I’ve always want to know. To whom did daddy wrote the song for?”

She smiled.

“For you my dear. Right after you’re born”

“That’s what I thought” Bob smiled and shut his eyes.

***

damn, i loved this. everything i wrote in the past hold so much memories..

Weirdness

I have a confession to make

(but I think everyone already know this)

Gosh, I’m so obsessed with my own singing voice

kakakakkakakakakakaka.

jom karaokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *dances to anekaragam*

2008 finitto

3 more days before the end of 2008. Personally, 2008 is the best year I’ve had so far and one of the years I would remember most for its wonderful ups and downs..

I can’t wait for 2009 where great plans, awesome rendezvous, surprises awaits… bad or good, i’m game to go through them..

like rai, i had my 2008 goals but i’d rather not share it here but lets just say i’m only crossing out 2 things. but its the 2 things that i wished i would achieve in order for me to have a better life ahead.

and Alhamdulillah, i did it.

2 things that i could have never achieved alone, thats for sure. thank you for everyone who have helped me throughout the years.. im sorry im not a blogger who reveals everything in black and white, a to z, 1 2 3.. ;p

im a writer, not a blogger.. that’s the difference ;p major major difference.

good luck to me, i have a very very very heart-wrecking, mind-boggling task to get done before the end of 2008. i have till tuesday. if i screw up this task, everything would tumble down and what happened in March (i think March) shall repeat itself again. omg, touchwood.

ok toodles

im back

i think im back.. lets hope so… more n more work awaits i guess.. next time i cant put my trust on people anymore! this is getting very hard to deal with! grrrahh! the world needs more n more ppl like him who cares about urgency n i dun need to be extra nice to him for we all are tryin to survive in dis cruel cruel world!

dang, suddenly my tummy is crunching in pain again! n i feel like puking my intestines out!!!

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